I wish I could teleport
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
