in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
