And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
