Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize