she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
