a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
