There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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