You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize