you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
