No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The beer is more important than you right now.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
