He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
