4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize