i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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