you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
