He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
