We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
