waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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