If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
