Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
