So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
