i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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