a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
