Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
