Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize