That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
