I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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