apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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