"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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