Only a mothe r could love this liver
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize