So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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