if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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