my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
