Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
