if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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