we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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