My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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