A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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