Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize