okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
