didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize