1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
