READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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