I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize