The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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