so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
