Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize