We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
