dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
