it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I need water and some morals
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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