You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I smell stomach acid.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize