Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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