I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Someone shit on the floor
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize