he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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