Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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