sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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