omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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