You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
