ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Buhtt sex?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
