that's an acceptable place to lick
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
