i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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